Solitary compatibilities

John M. Oldham identifies several personality types related to or intersecting the solitary personality type. These include the self-confident, the serious, the conscientious, and the vigilant. He also counsels the solitary to avoid high-strung, emotionally needy, and highly social types such as the dramatic, mercurial, adventurous, devoted, idiosyncratic, and leisurely.

Because no individual is completely one type or another, such recommendations are practical advice concerning tendencies and characteristics. Degrees of interrelationships ought to be the functional rule. But some specifics are worth pursuing as to what the characteristic personality types or traits actually involve.

The Conscientious type is actually what Oldham calls the “backbone of America,” reflecting mainstream social dynamics of work, perseverance, order, detail, prudence, conscience, moral conformity, and emotional constraint. The solitary will pose no psychological challenge to the domain of the conscientious and so will find nominal compatibility as long as the conscientiousness does not veer off into obsessive-compulsive behavior or perfectionism that intrudes on the solitary’s preference for working alone or without excessive constraints.

The Self-confident will have strong self-esteem, be poised and sensitive to others, and tend to have a vision or dream of where they want to go with qualitative projects and relations. The self-confident person will have a high sense of tolerance, which is good for the solitary, and a high sense of competence, which will also usually be amiable to the solitary. Though the self-confident are skillful in politics and do display ambition, these are exactly what the solitary avoids, so that as long as the self-confident is not goading the solitary in the direction of competition, all is well. Of course, that is not what the self-confident would do anyway, being busy with themselves and usual perceptive of others’ style.

The Sensitive personality will value privacy and discretion. The sensitive remain reserved and diplomatic in all settings. But they carry concern as worry and unease due to a lack of if not curiosity then risk-taking. These traits suggest a strong need for security mingled with reticent distrust. As part of their avoidant style, the sensitive may seek a social role that is safe both intellectually and emotionally. These are all parallel to most Solitaries, although not necessarily because solitaries are sensitive.

The Vigilant share a strong sense of autonomy with the Solitary. Complimentary characteristics include being perceptive to what is going on around them, being cautious about relationships and entanglements, and having a keen awareness of authority relationships. An extreme of the vigilant (paranoid) may circumscribe the Solitary and overreact emotionally to stress. But the non-threatening nature of Solitary personalities makes them compatible with vigilants.

The Serious are realistic and have a strong sense of being responsible for their learning, mastering, and rationalizing of whatever they encounter. Serious people are good at thinking before acting, are skeptical of others, and plan carefully. They do not have illusions about themselves or others and are even-tempered and fair-minded. Serious personality types are sober, hard-working, pessimistic, and exhaust themselves at their task. A too-serious Serious type veers towards depression.

Solitaries will find it hard to get along with others, though.

Dramatic and Mercurial people are unpredictable for the even-tempered and disengaged Solitary. The Dramatic blows everything out of proportion and the cloying Mercurial blows up unpredictably in energy, emotions, and lack of inhibitions.

Leisurely types are hopelessly pleasure-oriented, slothful, egoistic, and indifferent for the likes of the Solitary. The Adventurous is too reckless and unfocused for the Solitary, substituting risk for irresponsibility. Similarly, the Idiosyncratic are too concerned with their own reality to accommodate the solitary. The Self-Sacrificing personality type is naive and tolerant to the point of not luring the Solitary out of their self-initiated perceptions of the world. The Solitary will not admire the lack of self in the self-sacrificing. Finally, the Aggressive type is automatically shunned by the Solitary for their impulsiveness and desire to command.